Week One: So we begin

The only way to make sense of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.

Alan W. Watts

Change is inevitable. It comes whether we like it or not. It happens so we can grow. I know this, you do it. It’s an idea hardwired into all of us.

As a child change was easy, was fun. Every day you learned something new. Each semester brought different classes and you could’t wait for it. 

But then you grew older and change started to become scary. Routine came our best friend. We take the same route to work and panic when it has to differ. We talk to the same people and feel nervous when strangers appear in our lives. Its normal to feel apprehension but it is also crippling.

There are thousands of quotes about change, each telling you it needs to happen in order to grow. But it is not the understanding that is difficult it is the doing.

Far to often I find myself standing on the start line to some kind of change in my life. It can be something small like forming a habit or something huge like starting a new job. I can see the end. Know what benefits lie at the finish line and yet I freeze. Foot hovering over the line.

What if I fail?

That fear cripples me and suddenly I take a step back, shaking my head. It’s better to stay the same I tell myself. I can handle the pain of not moving forward, of not growing.

Then I begin to wilt. I watch my friends growing up. I see other moving and living this amazing lives. A small part of me that I hate to admit to hates them. Hates how happy they are. Why can’t that be me?

Because you were afraid of failure. That nagging voice that sounds like a mixture of my mother and Professor McGonangall sounds off in my head. Lately that voice has gotten stronger and she has started to sound a lot more like me. Maybe that’s why I’m listening because the thing is I am tired of this stagnation and I have no doubt you, dear read are too. That frustration is why this time I won’t fail because what truly is failure? 

Is it when a plan doesn’t come to fruition or is that just another opportunity to start afresh. Is failure getting rejected or is it the universe saying hey that person wasn’t a good fit anyway. 

Maybe failure is giving up and never seeing where change could lead. Because there isn’t any silver lining to that definition. 

So this year, I am going to fall, I am going to be rejected over and over, I am going to cry as another door is slammed in my face. But I will not quit, because that is failure. It’s time I took the wheel of the change car and took control of it. I’m ready.